There is more to being best friends than hanging out, going to parties, or watching
Your boyfriend being your best friend is an age-long question that can only be answered when people understand that there is no standard to things like this. There is no blueprint to what a successful relationship can and cannot be.
It would be best if you were friends with your spouse, yes. However, it is not a must for you to be best friends with them. It sure would make many things more manageable and your relationship more intimate, but if it doesn’t seem like that would work yet, or you already have a best friend, there is no need to force it.
The kind of intimacy that comes with being best friends grows over time, and it doesn’t just happen the moment you start dating, so no need to put pressure on yourself or your relationship.
IS IT BAD IF YOUR PARTNER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The short answer to this question is NO. Your partner doesn’t have to be your best friend. For one reason or the other, many people have a fundamental belief that their partner should be their number one friend in the world, but that is not true, mainly because there is no blueprint to a successful relationship.
Of course, your partner must be your friend, and you must share a close connection so that the relationship doesn’t become another thing you endure or feel obligated to perform in.
However, the friendship between partners can be light and lovely because there’s already a lot you share; responsibilities and obligations. So, to now insist on a deep friendship like what is required of best friends can be counter-productive.
Everyone must understand that friendship is essential in a relationship, you must like and enjoy the company of your partner outside the confines of romantic love. There is nothing wrong with dating your best friend or making a best friend out of your partner, the same way there’s nothing wrong if your partner isn’t your best friend.
SHOULD YOUR PARTNER BE YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The state of the friendship between you and your partner is highly dependent and should only be determined by you and your partner.
There is no standard of a good relationship in anyone. The need to search for answers is understandable, especially if you aren’t sure of yourself or if you have any doubt at all. One important thing that you must hold tight to as you build your relationship is making your own rules.
The internet isn’t a rule book because you find supportive arguments for both sides of the discussion there. What you do and the way you would go is then left to you and yours.
You must understand that only you can determine what your relationship should be. It’s okay to want more from your relationship, but let it grow, give it some time, and refuse to be pressured into making wrong decisions that might harm your relationship.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Suppose you have ever understood that you and your partner share a deeper bond than what you see with other people in relationships. Perhaps, you have been wondering what this means or if your partner is now your best friend. Well, it’s time to find out!
15 SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
If you find yourself searching for answers on the state of friendship you have with your partner, it is time to evaluate what you have with your partner correctly.
Here are 15 ways you can determine if you are dating your best friend:
1. You tell each other everything
Once you begin to realize that there is absolutely nothing that you don’ share with this person, then there you have it.
It could be a fight with your girls over clothes,
This might not have been a direct experience, but if you realize after a while that you find yourself in some situations and you can’t wait to call them and share with them, it means your relationship has grown deep over time, and it’s a good time.
2. You are your true self with them
One of the misconceptions of intimacy is that it is purely physical or simply about sex. This, however, could not be farther from the truth.
While being physical is a part of intimacy, it isn’t all of it. Intimacy comes in different shapes and forms, but the central idea is that you can be your authentic self around a person without the fear of judgment.
The one quality that differentiates a regular friendship from a best friend is the level of intimacy. While there are people you can tell quite a lot to, there is usually one person you are unafraid to tell it all.
3. You have a lot of fun together
Having fun doesn’t always have to be going shopping or food hunting or playing games, or any such activities. All of these are great, but what happens when the activities are absent? Is it still fun?
The moment you begin to enjoy a person’s company regardless of what you do is when you know that something more profound than just friends has developed.
You could be sleeping, talking, or just in the same space, and feel so comfortable that you don’t want to leave, this is what being best friends is about, enjoying being around a person so much that what you do or where you go doesn’t matter.
4. You trust them
Many people call their partners best friends but always doubt their partner’s love or commitment toward them. They hear their partner talking on the phone and are immediately triggered.
When you are best friends with a person, these thoughts don’t occur to you or affect you enough to check their texts or emails looking for evidence. Instead, you have complete trust in their love for you and are confident of what you have.
Trust is security, safety, and one of the most fundamental tenets of being best friends with a person. To know if your partner is your best friend, you must evaluate your trust level and vice versa.
5. You understand them
This probably sounds like a no-brainer, but it isn’t. So many people claim to be best friends with their partner but are constantly fighting over the littlest things.
Understanding doesn’t equal the absence of fights. However, it means fewer fights, and even lesser fights over mundane things, because you understand how this person thinks and what may have informed what they did.
Understanding means that you do not disrespect your partner even amid a fight, and you are actively looking for ways to resolve the issue, not trying to hurt or manipulate them.
6. You are natural with them
One of the ways to determine your level of trust and love for a person is how much of yourself you can be around them.
While, being yourself with a person is mostly about abstracts like character, attitude, and expressions. The physical part of it is also essential, considering how many insecure people are about their physical looks.
Once you realize that you do not feel the need to perform for this person, you do not need to put on make-up or dress-up for them in a particular way, then you know that they are becoming your best friend.
7. You feel like you are in each other’s head
It’s one thing to know someone so well that you can vouch for their actions and their words without them being there. It’s another thing entirely to anticipate what the person can say or do in any given situation.
When you realize that you are so in sync with your partner that you start finishing each other’s sentences, then you know how special and deep your bond with them has grown to become.
Being best friends with anyone means that you have complete knowledge and understanding of how the person thinks or correctly predicts their reactions in most situations. It can also extend to you knowing what to buy or what food to order for them any time.
8. You are there for them through thick and thin
In truth, regular friends can be there for you when you are going through a difficult time, but the difference is that it can be awkward with regular friends.
When a friend is going through a tough time, you might be around them, not knowing what to say to make them feel better or even laugh, but a best friend always knows what to do.
When your partner knows what to say to make you feel better in any situation, when they can make you laugh even when you are crying, when they know how to make any terrible situation a bit more bearable, then they have become your best friend.
9. You are each other’s biggest cheerleader
The support of a best friend is infinitely more significant than the support of an army of regular friends.
When your best friend supports you, it doesn’t come from liking the idea you want to execute. Instead, it comes from their trust and belief in you, so it doesn’t matter how big or ridiculous you want to do, they are there to cheer you on.
Support can also include brutal honesty. If they don’t think a particular thing can work, it’s not from a place of not believing in you, it’s usually from them knowing that it doesn’t align with your abilities, and they can tell you that without hurting your feelings.
10. You don’t see a future without them
Sometimes, when you imagine your future, how rich you’re going to be, the kind of houses you will live in and the kind of things you will do, there are people you know now that are not a part of that future.
It is impossible to imagine a future without your best friend. Regardless of where your dream country is, your dream job, or business, they would always be a part of it.
When your partner becomes a constant in all your daydreaming, when you begin to realize that you cannot imagine a future without them, then you know that they are now more than just your partner.
11. You don’t feel weird doing cheesy stuff together
Once you and your partner have become very comfortable with each other and become besties, doing cheesy stuff doesn’t bother you anymore.
Things like wearing matching hoodies, going to the salon with each other, or having the other person as your profile picture can be awkward at first. Still, as time goes and your relationship transcends purely romantic value, these things will come easy to do.
Doing cheesy stuff is a sign of feeling so deeply connected with a person that you want to be one with them, and you don’t even mind when other people think it’s weird or uncool.
12. You understand individuality
When you are best friends with someone, you feel so good with and around them that you don’t mind always being together or the same things.
Being best friends also comes with respecting each other’s individuality and giving each other space where necessary. Being best friends with your partner doesn’t have to mean that you cease living your life and become one with them, no. That is an obsession, and it’s unhealthy.
Understanding the need to respect each other’s space and give each other enough room to be themselves and do their things outside of the relationship is also a sign of deep connection, understanding, and acceptance.
13. Inside jokes
One of the most excellent hallmarks of being best friends with someone is sharing personal inside jokes.
Sometimes, it can be just one look or the mention of a word or a body movement that sends the other person roaring with laughter amid a crowd, and others wonder what the joke is.
Inside jokes are essential, and they are a good way of telling just how close-knit or bonded two people are, and once you and your partner start having a lot of these, then you are besties!
14. You have rituals
One of the best things that accompany being best friends is the deep and intimate rituals that you share.
It could be watching a particular show only with each other, only going to a particular restaurant with each other, setting a day and time to do something with each other, this is what being best friends is about.
Some of these rituals you have with your partner might not make any sense to many people, but you both don’t mind and would gladly do it all the time. These are the signs of being best friends with your partner.
15. Your arguments don’t last
This is probably the best thing about having a best friend in your partner, you cannot stay without talking to them for long.
After having a somewhat heated argument or fight over something and you both refuse to talk to each other, as best friends, you know this wouldn’t last because, in the very next instant, you want to talk to them about something.
Not only do arguments not last, but it also means that apologizing to each other or talking to each other after a fight isn’t complicated or awkward at all, which is a BFF thing.
If your relationship ticks all the boxes listed here, you are aware that your partner isn’t just your partner anymore, they have become your best friend, and you should be happy about that.
Do not be shy to refer to your partner as your best friend if they genuinely are. However, ignore people who say that it is wrong or unhealthy for the relationship. You make your own rules, and if it has been working beautifully for you, do not be pressured into destroying what you have.
Authentic and genuine best friends aren’t common, and if your partner happens to be yours, all the better for you! However, if your best friend is someone else other than your partner, that’s okay too!
There is no ”one size fits all” relationship rules. Whatever you have with your partner is to be loved, cherished, and guarded. Do not apply unnecessary pressure on yourself or your relationship, do what works for you and you alone.