Originally posted on December 9, 2021 @ 6:00 am
Last Updated on June 7, 2022 by inckredible
At one point in time, you must have made a tough decision to be with someone or not because you see the things you like and do not like about them. Indeed, everyone is not perfect but seeing past their flaws and knowing that with their mistakes, they bring out the best and do everything to make you happy is enormous. It doesn’t matter if it is a friendship or a romantic relationship; you must have considered certain factors that made you say: “Yes, this is someone for me!”
These factors are called Green Flags.
Over time, relationship experts have spoken extensively about the “Red Flags” as significant criteria before choosing someone, which mostly dwells on other people’s flaws. Most people have conditioned their minds to only look out for these Red Flags and ignored the need for Green Flags, which is quite crucial to every relationship.
Not overlooking the positives does have its advantages because it may be precisely what you need to find the right person and have a healthy relationship.
In this article, you will be reading on the ten green flags in a relationship you should consider to know if you are in the right relationship or not.
10 Green Flags For a Healthy Relationship
1. You Can Be Yourself
One of the essential things in life is not acting who you want to be in front of people who love you; you should be who you are. You don’t have to act perfect or be in a position where everything you do is a lie because you may not be able to keep up with the charade forever.
The same logic applies to a relationship. You should be able to be yourself in a healthy relationship – the good, the bad, and the ugly. However, you should be decent, but not put yourself in a situation where you are uncomfortable with the person you are. The moment you start feeling that discomfort and try so hard to maintain what you claim to be, then the relationship is doomed to fail.
For instance, if you are on a date, it’s pretty decent to choose a non-messy meal simply because you want to look presentable; however, that may not be the case. If what you really want is on the menu, you don’t have to sacrifice that because the other person is looking. If he/she encourages you to go for your best or what you are comfortable with, go for it. You could be shocked that you both might want the same thing. A true partner will love you regardless of whatever you do or choose.
2. You Feel Empowered
Humans are generally intentional about their growth. No one wants to be in a position where they are not enough or feel they aren’t taking on a responsibility that would make them their own person. While several factors might be in the way of growth, a good partner or relationship sees that you meet your goals and find better opportunities.
One of the clear virtues of a healthy relationship is the feeling of empowerment because you are inspired by the ideas that your partner suggests. Better still, if he or she encourages you through every point to make you realize your true potentials. It doesn’t necessarily have to be with grand gestures – just words of encouragement and affirmations are enough.
For example, if you are working on a completely different project that clearly your partner knows little or nothing about, showing how much he or she does by reading up and giving suggestions is inspirational. They are showing how much they can buy into your idea and even convince their friends to do the same. It could even be an idea that they can pitch to their friends to invest in.
Overall, you both are growing together and even as individuals.
3. You Feel Respected
When getting to know someone, there are some things you may and may not be comfortable with. At that point, you’d be setting boundaries, which is pretty much important for any relationship so that either of you won’t be crossing each other’s lines unsolicited.
Boundaries are important because humans are different people that process different things in different ways. For someone who truly cares about you, he or she would respect you and make sure not to cross them. Boundaries could be in different forms, either physically or emotionally.
A typical example of setting boundaries and feeling respected is: say that – you have a particular male or female friend that you hang out with, you should know that there are things you can and cannot do with them. The hours you spend with them shouldn’t be as much as you’d spend with your new partner.
And obviously, you know that you and the other person cannot be left alone and be involved in anything sexual because now you have someone who is emotionally invested in you. If you cross that line and do things that you know will hurt the person, you’ve disrespected the person, and you may be able to do nothing to make it right again.
4. You Want Similar Things in Life
A major green flag for any relationship is to know that you both want the same thing. What makes any relationship work is the sync. You both have and the choices you both make. It could be religion, ambitions, family, or even core values like trust, kindness, honesty, and charity.
Being with someone who wants something entirely different is a relationship doomed to fail because you and your partner will constantly have conflicting ideas. Now, different opinions are great, but when they become constant with both sides not ready to accept each other’s opinion, there is a problem. You’d often find yourselves fighting over the least trivial issues.
For instance, imagine being with someone who doesn’t want a child, and you do. OR someone who thinks women are best fitted for the kitchen than anywhere else. These are sensitive issues that could jeopardize the success and growth of any relationship if you don’t consider them.
So, before you get into any relationship, find out what the person wants and see if it truly aligns (or closely aligns) with what you want too. If both of you want the same thing, that is a sign of a good relationship; if not, you shouldn’t go ahead with the relationship.
5. You Feel Safe
In the right hands, you’d feel safe. Relationships can be difficult sometimes because you may both have different ideas but knowing that with those differences, you can reach a good, mutual understanding is bliss. You don’t want to be with someone who feels like you are always the problem or guilt-trips you to make you look bad.
A healthy relationship is supposed to be two understanding and forgiving adults who have each other’s backs and know that whatever happens, it’s them against the world. If you feel the opposite way, maybe that relationship isn’t for you, and you need to reconsider.
Still, on the point of safety, a good partner doesn’t always throw attacks or gang up against you. There are times you could want to spend time with friends and family together, and in the course of the discussion, you may have a different idea from everyone else. If your partner defends you and supports whatever opinion you may have – even if he or she sees that it is wrong, that is a great sign that the person is a keeper.
Maybe later when you are together, they can air their own true opinion, but at that point, with friends, they try not to make you feel embarrassed or awkward in front of others.
6. Your Success Makes Him/Her Happy
Having someone genuinely happy for you about your wins is bliss. Successes are personal to people because it means that all the work they’ve put into doing something was fruitful. Now being able to share the success with someone and such a person can see what it really means to you is one of the best things. If your partner is that person and he or she shows genuine happiness for your wins, you are in the right relationship.
Most times, people can be envious of other people’s wins – probably because theirs haven’t worked out or maybe they don’t want you to be better than them. It isn’t a good attitude because envying other people’s success sometimes makes a person do regrettable things.
So, whether your partner’s project works or not, if he or she is ready to celebrate your success because it’s a win for both of you, then that’s a clear indication of a healthy relationship. It simply shows that when congratulations are in for you, they will put you first before their own interests.
On your part, make sure to appreciate their efforts, inspire, and tell them that you believe their goals are valid.
7. You Feel Free
In addition to being your authentic self with someone, you feel free generally when you are in the right relationship. You won’t have to keep some secrets from someone who truly loves and values you. Better still, you could share some secrets and promise to have each other’s backs.
A sense of freedom is important in every relationship. It makes you believe that you aren’t the only one – that you have someone you can count on even with or at your worst. Also, it means you can do anything literally without feeling awful, awkward, or embarrassed around them.
For instance, others may see farting in front of others as gross, but in a relationship where you both are free and can do anything around each other, it won’t be bad at all. In fact, some people believe this gross moment is the true test of freedom. It means that you choose to be vulnerable around them without being criticized. That, in itself, shows intimacy and commitment.
Other things that would tell that you are free around them are undressing and sleeping naked. These are instances that show that you are least worried about your insecurities around your partner.
8. You Smile and Laugh a Lot
With the right person, everything comes easy. You’d catch yourself smiling and laughing a lot – more than you do with friends or family. That is happiness in its truest form.
It doesn’t matter if your partner is boring naturally; once they are with you, they become funny. A healthy relationship is when both parties are doing everything possible to keep a smile on each other’s faces. It could be by telling childhood stories, making jokes, buying gifts, speaking words of affirmation, or acting selflessly.
It is also often mentioned that the key to a long-lasting relationship is the ability to make your partner laugh or smile. It shouldn’t be something that happens rarely or during the first few weeks of courting; it should be for a long time.
Having someone who matches your sense of humor or understands decent touches of sarcasm is also bliss. You could have inside jokes and do other things that inspire intimacy – like taking a walk together in the park or taking pictures in the places you visit.
In retrospect, a partner who makes jokes that make you feel uneasy or intended to make you reflect on your insecurities is a huge red flag.
9. You Compromise – Make Sacrifices When Necessary
By the time you are about to or when you are in a relationship with someone, some things about you will change. First, you prioritize yourself, but this time, knowing that you have someone else, you are considering his or her feelings. You won’t have to do things that favor only you anymore; instead, you make this about you and your partner. In that way, you are compromising.
Commitment is a lot of work because it can require you to do away with old habits and pick up new ones. Not everyone is willing to consider or do this, but if you have someone ready to do the same – just like you are willing to, that is a green flag right there.
Furthermore, you may find yourselves not agreeing on everything but being in a relationship means you’d have to make sacrifices when necessary. For instance, if you are the type to stay out really late, in a relationship where your partner wants you home early for good reasons, you’d have to adjust and sacrifice the hours you spend out.
10. You Communicate, and He/She Comprehends
One of the most important green flags in relationships is communication and comprehension. It is another key to having a healthy relationship with someone. Sometimes, there will be misunderstandings or points where you’d have to talk about how you feel about an issue openly.
It is a huge blessing to have a partner who wants good communication and allows you to express your feelings because they are ready to listen and get better with the relationship. They also make you feel relieved that your feelings are valid and your opinions are respected.
If you have conflicting issues or did something that your partner wasn’t cool with, the silent treatment isn’t always the best move. In the best of opinion, this treatment ruins relationships more than dishonesty and mistrust. However, you should be able to communicate through these issues without fear and in a non-passive-aggressive way with a good partner.
Unlike the popular perception that you should look out for the red flags before getting into a relationship, you should also check out the green flags. Having a thoughtful partner that makes you be at your best self without getting ashamed of it is a thing and a major factor contributing to ensuring a long-lasting and healthy relationship. If you feel the same way above or even better, you are in the right relationship.