We’ve always heard that men and women are wired differently. Still, we don’t know how different until it comes to the dynamism of a relationship, where such things as mindset, communication, and understanding differ.
A man can say one thing, and the woman would interpret it differently, both would be correct in their right, but understanding the difference in each other’s thought process is what is usually missing.
One of the most common examples of miscommunication and misunderstanding is when a man asks for space in the relationship, the woman is very likely to hear, “I am tired of you and bored of this relationship, I want to break up with you.” Meanwhile, the man might need some time to figure out himself or even work. It might not have anything to do with the woman at all. But there is no number of discussions that would convince her of that.
Questions that arise in the woman’s mind are this kind of situation is why a man would need space from their relationship at all. Women love to share in both the joy and challenges of their partners and refusing to involve them in anything can trigger many issues.
A woman would eagerly share whatever she’s going through with her man, but when it comes to the man, he suddenly needs space from her? Does that mean he doesn’t trust her to be helpful or that she’s a distraction? This is how a woman’s mind works. Call it crazy or not, it is how they are wired to think when they feel shut out.
The problems that come from this lack of understanding or miscommunication can vary, it can be as little as a fight that can take a while to come back from or the end of that relationship, none of which either party wants.
If, as a lady, you’ve ever wondered, “Does he need space or is it over?” here are a few ways to find out the difference between the two.
1.Does he need space, or is it over?
“Babe, I think we need some space. We should take a short break.” Although these words might not mean much when a man utters them, he is asking for some alone time that can be beneficial to them both.
To the woman, however, this can begin to trigger a lot of her insecurities and emotions. She begins to ask herself if she is the problem, if she isn’t enough, or if her man doesn’t consider her a worthy enough confidant and support system, she would lay in wait for when the final breakup message is coming in.
There are several reasons a man might need space that has nothing to do with a breakup or even the relationship. Some of it might be innocent, but it can also be a breakup tactic.
So in the course of this article, we will help you figure out the difference between just needing some space and breaking up. This would help you decide whether to stay or take the initiative and leave, however painful that might be.
2.Does space mean to break up?
No, not all spaces mean breakup, and not all spaces should be considered a threat if there is an understanding of why it is essential. A man would have several valid reasons that would require both of you to step back for a short time to get things sorted.
Of course, there are times where taking a break would mean postponing the inevitable breakup. However, the question remains that how would you know the difference between wanting to be in a better place with the relationship/ each other and breaking up.
In this write-up, you will find some valid points and help you understand that a short break can be very good for the relationship and even the people involved.
3.How do you give someone space without losing them?
Understandably, you feel upset, hurt, or nervous when your partner asks for space in the relationship. It is normal to question yourself or your value in that relationship. However, it is imperative that you consciously come to the point where you understand that this isn’t about you but your partner.
Once you understand that this could be healthy for the relationship, giving them the space without losing them would require you to be intentional about how you go about this. Some of the things to do include:
a)Appreciate the honesty
Not every partner comes this clean. Some of them start acting up, causing a lot of strife and frustration. Having a partner who can be this honest is something to appreciate significantly.
b)Discuss the dynamics
Having an honest discussion about what exactly giving space involves. For example, when he says he needs complete silence, that might be a red flag. However, partners who need time might involve less calling, less time together, or silence for some part of the day. Ask them how exactly they want it.
c)Focus on yourself
Once you are sure that your partner isn’t looking for a clean exit, spend this time on yourself. Avoid the Rabbit hole of trying to monitor them or “coincidentally” running into them often. Focus on yourself, hang out with friends and family more often so that you can both come back into the relationship refreshed and ready to flourish.
4.How long do guys need space?
Unfortunately, there is no general answer to this question as it varies according to different factors like the situation at hand, the kind of space required, the reason for the space, but most of all, it is highly dependent on the person asking for it.
This is why you must have this discussion with your man before you both embark on this. As mentioned earlier, space doesn’t have to mean complete ex-communication. It might just be for some days in the week or a few hours of the day.
How long this space is going to last is up to the man. Let him tell you what he wants, and if you are not comfortable with his proposed duration, discuss this with him. Tell him why you aren’t comfortable with how long it is if you know that you genuinely can’t take it. However, if you can handle it, try to do so.
In a situation where there is no specific time frame to work with, once you begin to feel uncomfortable, reach out to him and explain why you are uncomfortable about how long this is taking. Reaching out to him, in this case, is not asking him a day or two later. Instead, wait for him to reach, only reach out when you absolutely can not handle the long wait anymore, not a moment before.
5.Five ways to find out the truth
One thing that is certain to happen when a guy asks for space is the woman wanting to know the truth behind this request. This is a very normal, even expected, response. In all of the quests, you, the woman, must take the proper steps to find out the truth.
Avoid the mistake of jumping to a conclusion before following the steps that are listed below in trying to discover the real reason behind your man needing space.
a)Ask
Too many dramas, fights, and even breakups can be avoided if the two people involved talk and talk honestly. Simple as this is, some people find it hard to ask questions or inquire about important information from their partners. They would ask everyone but the person they should be asking and start acting up based on false information.
b)Listen
Asking your partner is only the first step, listening is a different matter altogether. Some people will ask questions while they have an already made-up answer in mind. That way, they wouldn’t listen to the person is giving. They would be bent on a warped interpretation as long as it works with the answer on their mind. No, listen well.
c)Accept
To know that your man isn’t lying to you isn’t going to be a function of your mind alone. Accepting something as truthful is a leap of faith, well, except you want him to take a lie detector taste, and we both know that would be a tad bit too dramatic. So, as difficult as it may seem, you might have to close your mind against all other suggestions and take him at his words.
d)Clarify
Given as you were not the one who asked for the space, understanding his reason and believing him might require that you ask for clarifications when needed. As much as you might want to appear understanding and supportive, unanswered questions are a seed that would germinate into full force disbelieve and panic. So it’s better to be precise.
e)Go Higher
If he has not always been straightforward or forthcoming with you before this time, you need to take more steps if you want to know the truth. Some people find breaking up with their partner hard, and taking a break is a smooth exit. Be sure to ask a higher authority in his life, his mum, aunt, friend, or leader, to help you get clarification. If he is accountable to them, he is very likely, to be honest with them.
6.Things are moving too fast for him
As a woman, it isn’t unusual that things can get deep quickly when you find someone you like. Unfortunately, men aren’t very familiar with this pace, so adjusting might take them a while.
If your man tells you that things are moving a bit too fast and needs some space to get with the program, give him the space. It is essential to maintain a long-lasting relationship that both parties be on the same page.
One sure thing to happen if you don’t give him some time to understand his footing and catch up with you is that you would begin to realize how far deep you have gone. You would then start getting frustrated because he’s not reciprocating or understanding just how much he and this relationship means to you.
This is one prevalent issue in most relationships because the man might not get it, and getting it requires some time. So, give him space, let him figure himself out, and meet you halfway.
7.He feels pressured into taking your relationship to the next level
Before jumping to breakup conclusions, you might want to consider the kind of pressure he could be under.
As mentioned above, women tend to fall deeply a little too quickly for the menfolk. Considering all the baby talks you’ve been having, all the new family-owned apartment pictures you’ve been showing him, and your not-so-subtle mentions of marriage and weddings, he might be under pressure to take things further.
There might also be other kinds of pressure from his family, friends, or even work colleagues. People who have been waiting for him to get serious with someone, and the moment they noticed you, they turned it up a notch.
Research has shown that men are not as adept at handling pressure and emotions the way women are, so while you might not consider these things as serious, they might be driving him crazy.
8.He is afraid of commitment
Men being afraid of commitment shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore. It is so common now that you wonder if it comes to them as naturally as their love for football does.
Men fear commitment, and they flee from the mere suggestion of it and the bearer of that suggestion. As a result, they are not as indulgent of their emotions and feelings as women are, and this leads to the millions and millions of men all over the world who would rather face a wild animal than admit their true feelings with a woman.
Another thing about commitment is that we have heard a lot about a scorned woman, ever heard of the wrath of a scorned man? No. This is because they internalize the pain and adjust their natural emotions rather than express the hurt or the wrath. To get in touch with his emotions to come clean with you, you would have to accept giving him some time to do some solitary self-examination.
9.He lost his sense of self
Women aren’t the only ones with significant insecurities, men tend to cover them up with Ego and chauvinism.
Nevertheless, there are a lot of men with self-esteem issues. Men who would not accept, some even to the point of death, that a confident woman likes them. From childhood into adulthood, men go through a lot of pressures and challenges while being told to chug it up and work more because they aren’t or haven’t done enough.
For men who have experienced trauma, getting involved with a healthier woman might take some getting used to, so asking for a break for this purpose is okay. Don’t go busying yourself with a cry and worry. This kind of break where he can figure out and fix some of his issues is healthy for the relationship.
10.You fight a lot
Contrary to what many people think, fighting too often in a relationship is a strong indication of incompatibility. You also might need to take a step back from the relationship to conduct a proper with a professional or by yourself.
You are taking a break from a relationship where you fight all the time, and over every little thing is not only healthy but recommended. If you can come to an agreeable settlement, go for it, but if not, you may need to end it regardless. So letting go would be suitable for all involved.
CONCLUSION
The miscommunication and misunderstanding between men and women didn’t begin today. It has been that way for as long as humanity existed, resulting from the fundamental difference between genders.
One of the things that can look like a threat but are good and healthy is taking a short break. But, of course, once this break requires a full pause in the communication of all kinds, you would have to be very careful and observant.
Taking breaks that require a limitation in communication is bound to add some freshness to the relationship. So, when next you man asks for some space, don’t panic and imagine the worst.
Try some of the suggestions above and find out for yourself what kind of break it is. This way, you wouldn’t be wasting your time or unknowingly destroying your relationship with assumptions.
